Easter Weekend

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Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, a huge religious holiday for self-proclaimed Christ-followers. This is my first Easter without my sweet grandmother, Memmie. She was a very devout Christian during her time on Earth, and she enjoyed celebrating our Savior’s resurrection each year. Even though I have been busy and overextended this particular weekend, I want to still remember her, her faith, and the reason for this particular holiday, which inspired me to read each of the Gospel’s accounts of the Resurrection and to write this post.

Easter. The day the Lord overcomes death and rips apart the veil between himself and us lowly humans. We have hope because of Jesus. We have life because of Jesus. However, because I am an imperfect human, I still find myself allowing Satan to tempt me into wrongdoing or becoming distracted with life’s demands. I find myself creating a veil or a wall between myself and Jesus because of my actions and sins. I find it hard to let it go. Whatever it is at that time. It has been a long list including:

  • envy or jealousy
  • greed
  • other idols
  • perfectionism
  • busyness
  • impatience
  • longing
  • distractions
  • future plans…the list goes on and on.

I have followed Jesus for most of my life. I understand the importance and the significance of the Easter holiday for both my soul, my faith, and for humanity. I know and I believe that Jesus came to save me because I am sinful, imperfect person destined for the fires of hell otherwise. I trust in that. I trust that Jesus has my soul on lock. He’s got it covered.

However, I cannot seem to trust him with my everyday. The “what ifs.” Or the “what should I dos?” Why do I continue to pretend to be God, to pretend I have the answers for my life instead of trusting in Him to have them? Why can I not trust that God’s plan for me, may not always look good or easy, but is good? Instead of giving everything to him wholeheartedly and in faith, I try everything in my own power first. I work. I hustle. I plan. I seek advice. I sleep on it. I journal about it. But only then do I pray about it. Only when I have exhausted all of my efforts first.

I don’t want this life. I want the life that trusts God to guide the nitty-gritty details of my every day existence. I want a savior of my eternal soul AND a king of my every day life. I want a Father AND a friend. I want, and need, to remind myself that Jesus saved my soul, and He will save me from whatever this world can throw at me. His “handling it” may not look fun or feel comfortable, but if I trust him to save my soul, I can trust him to handle Tuesday. Or starting a family. Or work-related problems. Or family issues. I can trust Him with everything, and I can resign as Queen of my day-to-day.

This Easter, Lord Father, please direct my heart and my spirit to you as the King AND the Savior of my life. I relinquish control, or perceived control, over my circumstances and the events in my day-to-day life. Give me wisdom and send the Holy Spirit to guide my steps in Your way. I thank You for tearing that veil that kept humanity apart from You for thousands of years. Please, help me remove the walls of my own creation, the walls I create of pride, control, envy, greed, and other idols, to be one in you. Forgive me Father for these sins and others that are beyond my perception, and I thank you for saving me and all who call upon your name.                                                                                  -Amen

 

Cheers, and I hope everyone has a blessed Easter,

Ashlee

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Prayer

Father,

Help me see You when I can see nothing else. Help me to follow You when I don’t see or know the path ahead of me. Help me to trust You, when I don’t know who to trust. Help me to hear Your voice, when the weight of this world’s problems seems too loud and too heavy for my brain to process. Help me to have wisdom and courage to stand up for what is right and what is true. Help me to have wisdom to discern your voice among all the other voices the world throws at me. Help me to be faithful in You and in Your promises especially when the world offers no solution or safety net. Help me to sleep peacefully at night knowing the sun will rise in the East, and You are already there. Help me to keep my eyes focused on you and wait patiently for your help. 

Amen

Feeling confused lately. Shaken. Like the rug has been swept out from under me, but instead of landing on the floor, discombobulated, I am still up in the air. Still in the gasping for air, surprised, scared phase. I don’t like it. I don’t like having my world rocked to its core or my future seemingly so unknown. I long for stability and safety. I long for comfort and peace. All of these things I was looking for in the wrong places, and I have been for years. I have been looking for these things in other good things, but not the BEST thing. Not my maker. He’s the only one who can save. Save from the falling, save from the unknown landing, save from my worried thoughts and racing mind.

Save me Father. Give me rest.

Cheers,

Ashlee