I have been going through a tough time lately, not just myself, but everyone in my family has been dealing with a lot of emotional baggage and grief. You see, my grandmother–the one who led me to Christ, showed us unconditional love, and has been the matriarch of our family— is dying.
Her death has been expected as she is older and has been in poor health for quite some time. She is ready to go meet the Lord and to be with her husband, my Poppy, who died in 2006. I have been praying for the Lord to take her quickly home because, for as much as I want her to get well, I know she wants to be with Poppy and with Jesus. I have been praying so hard all throughout the night for the past few days, and yet, my grandmother remains on this Earth. I find myself getting angry with God that He is allowing her to suffer and to remain when she doesn’t need to any longer. I’ve been getting SO angry, readers. Because I don’t want anyone I love to suffer or be in pain.
Fast forward to this morning as I am doing my bible study and having my quiet time. The study is going through the Beatitudes and the Sermon on the Mount (very important lessons that I think many Christians can take for granted). I was thinking about treasures. Both treasures in Heaven and treasures that are worldly. It got me thinking about what I consider treasures—friends, family, pets, experiences, memories, travel, etc versus what the Lord considers to be treasures—-his kingdom, his Word, and people. My first thoughts are: Well, I think I have the people down, but do I really focus my heart on his word and his kingdom enough? For that matter, I focus a great deal of time and energy on my loved ones, but what about all the other people God has placed on this earth? Am I focusing on them? Am I loving them enough?
Readers, the answer is no. I am not. Then I got to thinking about my Grandmother. I am angry at God for letting her suffer here on Earth, but she knows Him. What about all those other people that don’t know Him? Am I not letting them suffer not only now but in eternity? Shouldn’t I take more care to spread Jesus and his love for us while on Earth to those who don’t know?
I’m not saying what I am feeling for my grandmother is wrong, but maybe I should pay more attention to others around me and love them in the same way, as Jesus has called us to do. I can then store up treasures for myself in Heaven and help the Holy Spirit plant seeds into others’ hearts so that they may know the kingdom and the father and the provider of all good things as well.
It won’t be easy. It might even be scary. But it is what we are called to do. I am not responsible for making Christians, but I can help plant seeds in others’ hearts through love.
How has God been speaking to you lately? Has it been through pain or something unexpected?