Self-shaming= More Rest and Him

Being a woman in this world can be tricky. We have more rights, as in basic human rights, than we have ever had in history at least in the modern, Western world. We have empowering fiction and real world female role models to include, but not limited to, Emma Watson, Malala Yousafzai, Michelle Obama, Wonder Woman, Daenerys Targaryen, and Princess Leia Organa.

However, with great power comes also great responsibility including responsibilities in the workplace and in the home/relationships. According to an article by BBC News, women work approximately 39 days more per year then men. And that is just in the workplace. In many families, women also perform more of the childcare and home-related work after their day jobs are over.

Honestly, I don’t mind working more than my husband, if in fact I do. What I do care about is my mind personally shaming me for taking a day off occasionally especially when I am not feeling well either physically or mentally. Taking days off are healthy. And normal. And not shameworthy.

And yet, anxiety rears its ugly head and attempts to convince me that I don’t need a day off/time off/break because I should be better than that. I should be unstoppable with unstoppable energy and motivation and drive. I should make time in my day for my day job, exercise, cleaning, cooking, relationships both human and animal, and creative pursuits while also getting 7-9 hours of sleep per night. This doesn’t happen daily. This is a lot of stuff to cram in your day and expect to be happy (and well-adjusted).

I have decided no more. God did not bless me with a job, friends, a husband, pets, a home, and hobbies so that Satan can use these things against me to make me miserable, somewhat depressed, and ashamed. Feeling ashamed and feeling as though you have to be perfect in all areas of your life is NOT the gospel. Being perfect may be what Instagram/Facebook/Snapchat says you have to be as a modern woman. Being “on” might be what Satan tries to tell you that you have to be. But not Jesus. Not my Lord.

My Lord tells me to rest. To rest on the Sabbath and keep it holy is repeated regularly, but how often do we women get to rest and reset? Especially on Sundays? My Lord also tells me I will stumble and fall. I will mess up and not perform perfectly. I will let others down. I will let myself down. But, He is with me. He will pick me back up. He will give me a new day filled with new mercies.

My stumbles and imperfections and “stuff” that I shame myself over are just reminders again and again that I am not meant to live independently, relying on myself to live life but to depend on him—the source where all the blessings flow. I just need to remind myself to rest in these blessings. To be present for the moment and allow myself to let my imperfections shine!

We aren’t meant to be Wonder Woman, but we can work hard, reach our limits, and give the rest to Him with a grateful heart for having these blessings in the first place.

Cheers,

Ashlee

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